Influential Language TIPS

TIP One

I would like to begin to share with you some very simple language patterns.

Simple they might be, but they can go a long way to help you to enhance your communication skills, and in particular, help you to become more influential and persuasive.

I think it’s fair to say that in life your ability to succeed will to a large degree depend upon how well you communicate and how influential and persuasive you really are.

The three patterns we will cover in a very brief session are:

Cause and Effect

Complex Equivalences and the very simple linkage word

“AND”.

Now let’s look at Cause and Effect.

Initially we look for the outcome.

What do you want to achieve?

What is the objective?

Let’s call that “y”.

Now we look for something that is already happening, some sort of a fact.

We call this “x”.

The idea is to link “x” to “y” in a way that seems to link the two together as if they rightly belong together.

We use a cause and effect word to accomplish this.

So, for example, you might say something like:

“The fact that you’re listening to this causes you to want to use this pattern in your everyday life.”

A softener can be used to make it more agreeable, more acceptable.

Here we might say:

“The fact that you’re listening to this may cause you to use this pattern in your daily interactions to improve your persuasive skills.“

There are other cause and effect words besides “cause” including allows, creates, makes, and the word because.

In fact, the word “because” itself is a very powerful word.

Now let’s look at complex equivalences.

Here a very similar process is used. Look for the outcome again and call that “y”.

Then we look for something that is already happening, and we call this “x”.

Now we link the two together with complex equivalences word such as “means”.

So “x” means “y”.

“The fact that you’re listening to this means you want to take your skills to the next level.”

And again we can use a softener:

“The fact that you’re listening to this perhaps means you want to take your skills in a new direction.”

Now the word “because” which is a cause and effect word, is a very powerful as I’ve just mentioned.

This is because most people respond to a request if you give them a reason, even if the reason itself is not that persuasive, not that powerful.

They seem to still respond.

“So, because you’re listening to this you may want to take your skills in a new direction.”

It seems to make the statement more compelling.

“Because you’re listening to this you want to do so and so.”

So use the word because more liberally in your everyday engagements.

You will find what you say is more acceptable and people will respond almost always to whatever it is you are requesting.

The third pattern is the simple linkage word “AND”.

Here we make two statements linked together with the word “AND”.

It seems to give the impression that somehow the two are connected, even though they may have nothing in common.

So, for example, you might say: “You are sitting here and learning.”

It just gives the impression that somehow these two statements are connected.”

So, these are three simple language patterns that can be used to great effect.

Cause and effect, ”x” causes “y”,

Complex equivalences, “x” means “y”, and the linkage word “AND” to link two statements together.

TIP Two

Most of us, of course, face problems on a daily basis.

We often have a tendency to make a problem bigger than it truly is.

We disproportionately attach a meaning to a problem that is far bigger than its true value.

So, we take a sizeable problem and make it quite huge, so massive in fact that it quickly overwhelms us.

Even when dealing with smaller problems we can give them a life force they don’t really deserve.

And again we become stuck and unable to act.

Now what I’d like to invite you to do is to think of a problem in a slightly different way.

Just describe it in a different way to yourself.

So, when we think about “this problem” it really seems to be on top of you, right at you, intense, staring at you, but if you begin to think of it as “oh, that problem!” with a change of tone, it can seem to push it away.

It makes the problem smaller and easier to cope with.

You can do this with the plural of the problem.

So, rather than thinking about “these problems” you can begin to think of them as “those problems”.

It makes them far more manageable.

So, we begin to think about the process and structure of a problem rather than the content of the problem.

You can also investigate and analyse how you describe problems to yourself.

What kind of metaphors do you use to describe your problems.

Are you stuck?

Do you feel blocked?

Do you often talk about the “problem?”

Well we know every problem has a solution and usually more than one solution.

If we can free ourselves up and describe a problem according to its relative merits we can begin to think of alternatives and have more choice in dealing with them.

So, by taking this simple language construct and describing a problem in a slightly different way, it will become much more contained and keep it in the size it truly needs to be.

This will give you more choice, more possibilities, and allow you to solve the problem much more elegantly.

Also, try to refrain from saying words such as should, shouldn’t, must, musn’t, have to, need to, and so on.

They are words of necessity.

Also avoid but and because if it is followed by a negative statement.

Replace these words with words of possibility such as can, could, might and so on.

Whenever you catch yourself saying: “I can’t…” immediately pause and ask yourself:

“What prevents me? and “What stops me?”

TIP Three

One of the most popular songs of all time, for good reason, is the John Lennon song Imagine.

That led me to think about the power of the imagination and how it can be used to really ramp up your ability to influence people.

When you ask somebody to imagine something it directs their awareness to it, even if it’s just to make sense of the sentence.

They have to imagine it in some way, however briefly.

People won’t do something until they first imagine doing it.

Now, the unconscious doesn’t distinguish between a real experience and a vividly imagined one.

Here’s the twist: your unconscious mind is never unconscious.

Only your conscious mind is unconscious, of what your unconscious mind is actually conscious of! Wow – a bit of a mouthful!

We know your thoughts and ideas guide your feelings and actions.

So, what happens when you imagine having the thoughts, feelings and actions of a very successful you?

Your thoughts can switch our genes on and off.

They can alter the anatomy of the brain.

The brain can change its own structure and function through thought and activity.

By using your imagination you can alter your perceptions and give yourself permission to create the life you want.

So, to influence people you want to encourage them to engage with their imagination about the benefits of what you have to offer.

“Imagine how happy you’ll feel when you’re relaxing by the pool on holiday in the Bahamas.”

“Imagine how wonderful you’ll feel when you have finally resolved this relationship issue.”

You can identify a situation in which you’d like someone to do something, or to move in a certain direction.

Then stop and ask yourself, “What’s in it for them?”

Figure out the potential benefits to the other person.

Then get them to imagine themselves reaping those benefits.

“Imagine what it will be like when you can motivate people effortlessly.”

“One of the things I’m curious about is what happens when you imagine yourself being really amazing at influencing others.”

Just to answer that a person has to imagine being amazing!

How amazing is that!

“Imagine yourself feeling really fantastic for days on end!”

How do you feel?

Fantastic!

A key is to suggest to people how they’ll feel when they imagine themselves achieving something really worthwhile.

Actually pinpoint it.

“Imagine how great you’ll feel when you’re at your perfect weight looking absolutely fabulous!”

Other patterns you could consider include:

Can you imagine…?

Imagine yourself…

What’s it like when you imagine…

The bridge between the future and the present is your imagination.

Your imagination is the rocket fuel to propel you forward.

Finally, just imagine having the know-how to fire another person’s imagination!

Now that’s influence! Ok, I hope that’s useful for you.

TIP Four

Here’s how a simple three-letter word that when used creatively with the right tone can swiftly enhance your ability to influence others.

“I don’t think I have mentioned this to you…YET” Yes, this suggestion makes use of the, well, soon to be magical word YET.

If you make a statement about something a person wants but hasn’t yet managed to obtain, you can add “YET” to presuppose that it will happen once they accept whatever it is you are offering.

The word YET used at the end of a sentence or question implies that in time whatever is missing will be supplied, and better still, supplied with your help.

The way to use this is to state what is obviously missing in someone’s life, pause, and then say “YET”.

For example, if a person comes to you wishing to lose weight you could say:

“Maybe you haven’t lost the weight…YET.”

Or to stop smoking:

“Of course, you haven’t managed to quit…YET.”

Here’s a few random examples:

“That’s true, you haven’t mastered these language skills… YET.”

“Yes, Adam, perhaps you don’t feel perfectly comfortable providing advice…YET.”

“I understand your concern – you do not have the ideal policy that fully covers your needs…YET.”

“Now, I realise you haven’t become totally sold on this proposal…YET.”

You can also use the word as a form of ambiguity – this is a way to use punctuation more skillfully.

Devise a sentence with YET at the end of the sentence followed by another sentence that begins with YET.

Then join the two sentences together.

However, say the word YET just once, but make it sound as if it is connected to both sentences.

“Perhaps you do not know this…YET… you can continue to advance your skills.”

“Mastering these skills requires a little more time.. YET… you can already begin to see the progress you have made.”

This is the equivalent of saying:

“Mastering these skills requires a little more time YET.”

“YET you can already begin to see the progress you have made.”

Note the pauses.

So, the pattern implies you will get what is wanted and its use also suggests it is just connecting two sentences.

The trick is to say it deliberately ambiguously with pauses in the right place using the perfect tone.

This allows the listener to benefit from both meanings.

That’s it for this simple yet powerful use of the magical word YET.

TIP Five

What is communication, effective communication?

Perhaps it boils down to having the ability to influence other people.

Clearly, knowing HOW to influence others can dramatically improve your results.

You can literally transform your communication skills by using these powerful suggestions.

It’s best to use them in combinations.

Obviously, when applied with skill, these techniques can tip the scales in your favour, particularly in a sales-type situation.

So, go ahead and familiarise yourself with all of these suggestions and get the results you deserve.

Now, I’m sure you’ve found yourself in a tricky situation where you felt obliged to do something.

There didn’t seem to be a convenient way out.

You simply couldn’t refuse.

Like selling raffle tickets for a good cause!

Well, a similar situation can be devised using the language of influence to persuade someone to make a decision in your favour.

Your ability to influence others can be accelerated through the use of a BIND.

When you say something is a bit of a bind, you mean it’s a bit of a drag, a nuisance, tiresome, bothersome, but you’ve still got to get it done.

Binds come in two forms, single and double.

Let’s begin with the elegant, yet highly effective, single bind.

It goes something like this:

Don’t (x) unless you want (y), where

x is something a person is currently doing, and
y is something they really want, better still, desperately want.

More specifically it is this:

“Don’t (their current behavior) unless you really want (your outcome for them).”

“Don’t use a bind unless you want your results to skyrocket.”

“Don’t eat your broccoli unless you want to grow up big and strong like Superman!”

Here’s a few more examples:

“Don’t watch this unless you want to be really happy.”

“Don’t consider this carefully unless you want to be confident it’s everything you’ve been looking for.“

“As you learn more about linguistic binds you’ll find yourself becoming a better, more persuasive communicator.”

“The more you learn how to use language patterns in your job the more successful you will become.”

“You may find it easy to learn this because you realise it will help you achieve your goal.”

When you link a person’s current behavior to the outcome they want, you are putting them in a bind.

Now the Double Bind

Here we provide choice, but only within a specific and predetermined set of options.

This gives the illusion of choice by offering certain options, which are acceptable and desirable to you.

The purpose of giving the illusion of choice is to bypass conscious resistance.

A double bind is effective when used with the word because since people love to be given reasons for doing things.

“Would you like to make an appointment today for one o’clock or four o’clock?”

“Would you prefer to attend the half-day Skyrocket Your Persuasion workshop or the two-day workshop?”

Here are a few more examples:

“This is a substantial investment; how much deposit would you like to leave, five percent or ten percent?”

“Would you prefer to pay by cash or by credit card?”

“I don’t know if you’ll want to stop smoking now, or if you’ll want to stop in a day or two, because this really important decision is something you need to be clear about, given you say you are concerned about your health.”

TIP Six

Welcome to another How to Influence suggestion.

As said, clearly, knowing HOW to influence others will improve your results.

And, to repeat, you will literally transform your communication skills by using powerful suggestions.

The trick is to use them in combinations.

Obviously, when applied with skill, these techniques can tip the scales in your favour, particularly in a sales-type situation.

So, go ahead and familiarise yourself with all of these suggestions and get the results you deserve.

EXERCISE:

Here’s a few simple but powerful words you can use to make your sentences much more appealing and influential when you combine specific phrases with these words.

BECAUSE, AND, WHICH MEANS, EVERY TIME, WHEN

Do the following:

Determine the message you want to give.

Create a few phrases using a normal beginning, middle and end story structure.

Join the phrases together using these words.

Have a go and make up a few sentences.

Example:

Power Words “Because you are determined to improve your skills, every time you learn a new pattern you will be in a position to put it into practice when the opportunity arises, which means you will become highly competent and supremely confident in your ability to help others.”

Keep in mind you have many faces, let’s put them to use and begin to combine these tips and other information on knowyourmind.com to make yourself a master of influence.