Would you like to become a member of an extremely exclusive club where you can exploit your natural talents and enjoy the benefits of making powerful connections that produce an abundance of opportunities?.
Welcome to Part Seven of How to use nonverbal communication, your body language, to get extraordinary results.
It’s said that success depends upon WHO you know.
But, of course, it also relies on WHAT you know.
Would you like to belong to a special group where the door is opened ONLY to the chosen few?
In this part and the following part I will show you how to gain access into the inner circle, and become a member of a distinguished group of people by using superior and smarter rapport skills.
Just who gets invited inside an inner circle is defined by the relationship you have with others.
Your right to belong is communicated through space and touch.
Space and touch is decided by a number of unwritten rules that guide your everyday actions.
Fall foul of them and you are sunk without a trace.
Know how to exploit them and you are in pole position to influence and persuade.
WHEN and HOW, space and touch, are the subjects of this and the following part.
I’d like to draw your attention to the importance and, well, sanctity we regard the zone, the bubble of space, each one of us creates around ourselves when it comes to communicating with others.
If this personal space is breached the communication wires immediately go down.
I would like to stress how vital it is to be mindful of the significance and uniqueness most people attach to this expensive, though comparatively tiny, piece of real estate.
The benefits are clear – make the right connections and you will be rewarded.
The four zones of space depend upon the context.
You have the public, social, personal and intimate zone.
So, the BIG Question: How can you use these zones to your advantage?
First the public zone.
This area covers approximately 12 to 25 feet.
When you’re out and about you are in the public zone.
You have little control over this space.
Use natural your energy and enthusiasm to guide you and make sure you show yourself in the best light by adopting positive body language.
Smile often, stand tall, keep your shoulders back, make and maintain eye contact – in other words, be distinctive, look the part, and work the crowd.
Now the social zone.
This area covers four to twelve feet.
Always begin your sales discussion with this space between you and the customer.
Once you observe a warming of the relationship, move closer.
Then step back out.
If you are getting on really well, you can move closer towards the personal zone.
Watch how people move in and out of this zone.
Test the water by moving closer and then moving back.
See if people match and mirror you by moving closer.
If they do this, you are clearly in rapport.
In general, never enter anyone’s personal space unless you are clearly invited.
On to the personal zone.
This is a critical zone for building closer relationships.
This space is roughly two to four feet.
You use this space with family members and close friends.
When you first meet people you will step inside this zone to shake hands and then move back to the social zone.
You must be aware whether you have moved too close as this can be perceived as an act of aggression.
This can be seen through their body language and they will turn away from you.
Try to match and mirror to determine whether you will be invited inside this zone.
Always attempt this manoeuvre slowly and carefully.
Of course, if you desire to overpower somebody this is how you do it.
If somebody invades your space and doesn’t get it, fold your arms.
Finally, the intimate zone.
This is the touching space and is about two feet away.
Needless to say, this is not the place to conduct business!
It’s very much the province of your inner circle.
If you move into this space accidentally, you will put people off.
Make sure you always approach these zones respectfully and fully test the water before you boldly go where no-one should probably go!
In the next part I will look at how and when to use touch.
Keep in mind you have many faces, let’s put them to use and know how to move gently into a position of influence.