Body Language PART NINE

Let’s face it, in the absence of rapport, nothing is possible.
In the presence of rapport everything is possible.
Now, of course, we all know precisely what rapport is, don’t we?
Or do we?

Well, I believe many people have an insufficient, almost inadequate sense and understanding, of rapport.

My view is that genuine rapport, meaningful rapport, is the ability to cause people to LIKE themselves when they are with you.

Done correctly this will give you leverage, power and influence.

One way to gain greater influence is to establish instant rapport using nonverbal communication,
Paying strict attention to the correct process of rapport is vital.

So, what are the easiest body language signals you can give to get a person on your side in a given moment?
What are the smallest nonverbal cues you can provide to increase rapport speedily, rapidly?

In this part I will focus on something exceptionally simple, but nonetheless profound.
If your purpose is to exert some influence, or perhaps have an offer accepted, you will need to polish and sharpen your efforts in this area.

We are wired to connect; however, many people simply neglect this natural, organic activity.

Now, your brain cells will reflect what is being observed in another person.
This includes generating feelings.
When an emotion is observed we instinctively mirror the same emotion.
Emotion is highly addictive.

So, let’s take a look at some simple nonverbal signals you can use to project a positive self-image.

First, here are some of the shifts it is smart to notice and use when you want to establish a binding connection to someone:
Observe how a person holds their chest.
Do this using your peripheral vision so you do not offend.

Does the person have their chest out almost suggesting they are swelling with pride?
Do they have rounded shoulders and a concave chest?
If so, disappointment is being felt.

Notice if a male unbuttons their jacket when with you.
If so, they feel comfortable and are removing a barrier between you.

Always attempt to take in the whole body of the person you are communicating with.
This is far easier if you get into peripheral vision.
Just look a metre or so beyond the person and soften your eyes, soften your focus.

The breathing patterns of people reveal significant information of how they feel.
So, what messages can be assumed from the way a person breathes?

When people feel vulnerable or apprehensive, they will hold their breath, or breathe in a more shallow way.
Holding the breath is a form of protection.

Is a person excited to be with you?
Look for a sudden upward body movement and whether they take a bigger than normal breath.

When making contact determine whether a person is the lower neck, chest or belly breather.
Then match the style.
This conforms to visual, auditory or kinesthetic person – the representational system they prefer.

Next go ahead and observe the overall body posture of the person you are in conversation with.
Here we are looking to see if a person has an open or closed posture.

If the posture is closed you need to withhold any offer you would like to make until you have succeeded in altering this posture.
Here are the specifics.

If the arms are folded, legs crossed, the body turned away from you, a tendency to hide the hands may all represent feelings of vulnerability.
Resist making an offer.

An open posture sees a receptive person.
The legs are uncrossed, arms are open with the palms exposed.
The arms can be relaxed by the side of the body.
These signals indicate a willingness to interact.
Feel free to make your offer.

Go ahead and begin to notice these features in other people and get a sense of their accessibility.

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