Would you like to know the ONE big secret of HOW to make a brilliant impression just about every single time?
Would you like to improve your results, considerably improve your results, in virtually every area of your life where communication is involved?
And where isn’t it?
Well, in this and the following part, I’ll share with you the ONE step, ONE big step, you need to take to get outstanding results.
I did say nonverbal communication, but this part is different because it is a verbal process.
But it is so complementary to the overall effectiveness of nonverbal communication, it needs to be addressed.
Done well you will be able to influence people in the most extraordinary way.
As previously said, you will get a rock-solid advantage by making a great first impression and showing the kind of personal attributes that attract people, draw people to you to you.
For brilliant results you need a bit more.
Now let’s move on to a big rule of thumb.
What is communication?
Is it just the words that are spoken?
Or is there more?
How expressive are you?
What is your body language suggesting?
How articulate is your body language?
Is superior interaction just a hit and miss exchange?
How frustrating is it to prepare really well for a meeting – an important meeting, yet fail to get the outcome you want?
Even more so after spending copious amounts of time thinking through every single possibility that could be raised.
Now, an advantage, an amazing advantage, almost an unfair advantage you can give yourself is to match and exploit voice tonality.
You know, so little is done about this, yet your tonality and physiology play a decisive role, the dominant role in your ability to influence and persuade.
In fact, it is said that voice tonality alone corresponds to 38% of all communication.
This is a big number, a huge number.
So, over one-third of effective communication comes down to your tonality, your voice.
Say “WOW” after me! WOW!
It’s not WHAT you say, it’s HOW you say it!
Try This Exercise:
This will help you to get the excellent tonality ball in play, and get the ball rolling.
Use telephone calls to practice getting into rapport.
Listen to what is being said and then match the tone, tempo and volume.
Match the voice so the person you are conversing with feels you are just like them.
Calibrate your success from the feeling you experience within.
If you are in rapport, the conversation will last longer.
How often do you consciously vary the tone, tempo, timbre and volume of your voice?
Just in general conversation.
This requires work, but it’s worthwhile it because it can change your life.
You can literally speak your way to success.
Varying your vocal tonality is of far greater importance than the specific word choices you make.
Obviously, addressing your non-verbal expression and tonal flexibility has an immense payoff.
Clearly it must be done.
How do you improve your vocal characteristics?
How do you match a person’s vocal characteristics?
Matching the qualities of the voice of the person you are talking to deepens rapport.
But how is it done?
The quality of sound that differentiates one voice from another can be copied.
And these features are mastered through practice.
Try this simple exercise:
Say the words “I love you.”
Go ahead say it.
You probably said it as a statement – the voice intonation stayed the same.
Now say this statement as a question: “Do you love me?”
You undoubtedly raised the intonation at the end of the statement.
Now say this as a command: “You’d better love me!”
You more than likely lowered the intonation at the end of the statement.
This is the command tone and is highly effective.
So, varying your tone imbues your statement with meaning.
Using the command tone with the questioning syntax is a power play.
Modulating the voice can impact the way a person FEELS.
Enthusiasm and emotion is paramount.
When we are emotionally aroused we respond by speaking with passion.
In day-to-day conversation we tend to avoid such affected use of language and moderate how we speak.
Yet, people buy on emotion and not on logic, people always respond to emotion, so speaking without feeling is counter-productive.
By adding flexibility to your voice you will establish rapport far quicker, and deeper, and increase your capacity to influence others dramatically.
One trick is to make a particular word sound according to its meaning.
Saying the word LOUD softly does not make sense, does it?
Now another exercise:
Practice saying the words I will list below with some emotion.
Say the words out loud.
Become comfortable with doing this.
To make it easier fire up your memory bank and go back to a time in your life when you felt the emotion the word defines.
What did you see, hear and feel?
Step into the experience again, fully associated.
Really feel it.
Now clear your throat…
“Curiosity, amazement, happiness, thrill, victory, playful, relaxed, excitement, desire, calm, exhilaration and love”
Whatever your natural tone may be, you can refine and improve it.
To do this well you need to become more and more tuned in to your own tonality to improve its effect.
The effort will pay off brilliantly.