So, what is conflict and how can it be resolved?
Internal conflict is a struggle that occurs within the mind.
It differs from external conflict, where the focus is on grappling with a force outside of a person.
The dilemma posed by an internal conflict is usually an emotional or ethical over-reaction to the way we respond to a difficult situation.
Internal conflict typically results in subjectively asking questions such as “what was it I did wrong?
It is important to overcome internal conflict by resolving complex issues using the right tools.
So, what is conflict and how can it be resolved?
Internal conflict is a struggle that occurs within the mind.
It differs from external conflict, where the focus is on grappling with a force outside of a person.
The dilemma posed by an internal conflict is usually an emotional or ethical over-reaction to the way we respond to a difficult situation.
NLP has the technology and provides a rich set of tools for dealing with internal and interpersonal conflicts.
These tools include techniques of reframing, conflict integration, shifting perceptual positions, and many fundamental communication skills such as the Meta Model, calibration and non-verbal communication methods.
“Conflict” is defined as “a state of disharmony between incompatible persons, ideas, or interests.”
Psychologically, conflict is a mental struggle, sometimes an unconscious struggle, which happens when conflicting internal representations of the world are held.
Conflicts can occur either between parts of ourselves internally (inner conflict) or externally with others (interpersonal conflict).
Conflicting “Parts”
Sometimes people experience a sense of being in “two minds” or “at odds” within themselves.
Part of the mind wants to do one thing while another part wants to do something else.
These issues do not relate so much to external pressures, but rather to the deeper mental structures within a person’s own mind.
It is conflict between different parts of a person’s own mental conditioning.
Resolution of conflict can begin to help and integrate these parts.
In a typical situation, if we stay focused on our outcome and are subjected to various obstacles, we use flexibility to explore alternative avenues or strategies to obtain the goal.
When internal conflict occurs a battle begins between the two competing parts.
Then we quickly become frustrated.
We get caught between a rock and a hard place – damned if we do and damned if we don’t.
This type of dilemma creates a constant feeling of being stressed and frustrated.
If left untreated it can lead to other more serious problems.
It is important to recognise that all conflict can be overcome.
Parts Integration
NLP has processes that can resolve these issues.
Conflict integration is one of the major NLP interventions and generally produces a successful outcome to the many mental, physical, emotional and interpersonal problems people often experience.
The following is a general overview of the NLP approach to addressing conflict:
- Clearly identify the key issues involved in the conflict – the two parts
- Note these “conflicts” are usually expressed as opposites (part of me wants to be fit, part of me hates exercise)
- Find the positive intention and purpose behind the issues of each part
- Make sure that each part recognises and acknowledges the positive intent of the other part
- Chunk up until a common intention on a higher level has been identified that both parts share eg the love of learning
- Integrate the parts
We offer phone coaching as an alternative, practical solution if you prefer this approach.
However, one-on-one in person coaching for all areas of coaching and personal assistance
is better and always available.