Ask a person how they feel about what is happening in their life and I’m sure you wouldn’t be surprised to learn that once prompted they would confess there is at least one important area that could benefit from making one or more changes.
Here’s why most people fail to get the change they want and how you can succeed.
It goes without saying that seldom does a day go by without one’s mind thinking, part dreaming, part reflecting, about how much better everything would be if only they could get busy and begin to make real change in the one area currently occupying their thoughts.
Significantly transforming your life generally requires taking massive action.
At least that is the prevailing wisdom.
The consequence of this philosophy is that few people are prepared to make the necessary sacrifices.
Why bother when the outcome is usually disappointing?
Massive effort with little or no reward does not generate a great deal of enthusiasm for the next bright idea.
Let’s face it, how much easier is it to waive the white flag?
Ideas are a dime a dozen and completely meaningless without taking action.
Inspiration is a wonderful attribute, but perspiration is the name of the game.
Or is it?
Of course, it makes much more sense for so many of us to peacefully remain in the comfort zone where it’s cosy and warm.
The big question:
Why is change so hard that few people have a genuine appetite for it?
I bet you know what I mean.
How tough is it to permanently stop smoking, lose weight, get fit, or acquire the knowledge to give yourself a greater chance of even more success?
It seems to me the focus of change is hopelessly wrong.
I believe the main problem is that the process most people follow pretty well guarantees failure.
The effort required is often huge when the process is faulty.
So, where does the fault lie?
Frankly, the emphasis on making a new beginning with a new process is way too daunting.
Why?
To suddenly replace one way of doing something with a completely different way proves a step too far for most of us.
It’s not exactly impossible, but certainly more than just a little challenging.
Picture the scene:
At first, you begin and everything goes smoothly, not perfectly but smoothly, but once one major obstacle is followed in quick succession by another complex task the game takes a turn for the worse.
The reaction?
“I give up!”
You carry out a post-mortem.
Where did it go wrong?
Was it the plan or lack of a plan?
Was it lack of knowledge?
Why didn’t I think this would happen?
How did I overlook something so obvious?
Why did I believe I could do this?
When will I ever learn? And so on.
I’d like to provide you with my approach to change and why I believe it is infinitely superior to the conventional way.
It isn’t change itself that is the root cause of the problem it is the prelude to change that is overlooked.
This critical step is part psychological, part strategic, and part paradoxical.
Let me explain:
Any transition should start with something ending and not with beginning a brand new process.
This may appear to be a little unorthodox, counter-intuitive, and tricky to understand, but without stopping and letting go of what you currently do the likelihood of success is limited.
To restate this: without absolutely ridding yourself of the old way of doing something you will inevitably abandon any desire for changing to the new way.
Why is this?
After seeing a countless number of people with an assortment of issues I understand that changing anything proves to be extraordinarily difficult.
People simply do not like the idea of it.
I’ll be bolder here – they dislike abandoning a habit so much they will rigidly stand and deliver an argument for their limitations.
It makes perfect sense to end something first before beginning something new, doesn’t it?
But most people just don’t want to do it.
It’s as if their very identity is being challenged.
Fortunately, this can be overcome.