In Part Five, we looked at questions based on a simple yet highly effective structure.
In this part we will look at two key areas of emotional intelligence.
It makes sense to realize that there are basically three competencies – 3 intelligences:
Cognitive Intelligence – Thinking;
Emotional intelligence – Feeling
Behavioral Intelligence – Acting.
Personal Power comes from a healthy combination of:
How I Think!
How I Feel!
What I Do!
Obviously a coach should be emotionally self-aware.
Self-awareness is derived from an accurate self-assessment, and sensible self-management of their feelings.
This creates self-confidence and allows a coach to build positive, empathetic relationships.
Be mindful that it’s so easy to become a victim of your own emotions.
Once this happens you will largely be unable to accurately read the emotions of other people.
Reading their own feelings and the emotional state of other people is a hallmark of a master coach because it gets results.
In truth there are an enormous number of emotions.
And when we try to label these emotions we are prone to think cognitively instead of feeling emotionally.
This is a drawback to becoming more emotionally intelligent.
Labeling is important but we must feel those feelings.
First begin to Identify Emotions
If you are weak in this area it is likely that you will:
Ignore your own and other people’s emotions and
Have difficulty recognising faked emotions.
You may also be prone to acting on incorrect information
If you are strong in this area it is likely that you will:
Pay attention to your own emotions and
Watch people, read the signals, and more correctly identify what they are feeling.
Action
Periodically during the day ask yourself how you are feeling.
Observe people and try to determine how they are feeling.
Now Learn to Use Your Emotions More Precisely
If you are weak in this area it is likely that you will:
Have flat moods and
Struggle to feel what other people are feeling.
This characteristic can hinder your creativity.
If you are strong in this area it is likely that you will:
Generate moods appropriate to a given situation and
Create considerable empathy.
You have the ability to influence others.
You are probably quite creative – another terrific characteristic of a super coach.
Action
Ask yourself:
How do you want to feel in the immediate situation and then anchor yourself into this state.
Picture yourself in this mood and go ahead and alter your physiology and breathing to how you would if you were perfectly in the desired state.
Do this often.
Decide to become a master at doing this.
Teach people you are coaching to do this.
Make a decision to follow these steps:
1. Take the time every day to appreciate what is enjoyable in your life.
Feel the feelings!
2. Increase your emotional vocabulary – develop a rich set of emotional words.
3. Listen attentively, both cognitively and emotionally – use your heart as well as your head!
4. Tell yourself how you feel.
Take this feedback and feed it forward.
Change state if and when you need to. Step into it!
5. Tune in to your physical body.
Your physiology is a game changer. Use it!
6. Smile more! Much more!