In Part Six, we looked at two aspects of emotional intelligence.
We’ll continue by looking at a further two key areas.
This part will look at how well you understand emotions and how to manage your own emotions and better manage emotional relationships with other people.
The ability to understand emotions is the most thinking-related of the four emotional intelligence skills.
In particular how one emotion transitions to another emotion.
In fact, emotions can alter from one state to another through several stages.
First of all, how well do you understand emotions?
If you are weak in this area it is likely that you will:
Fail to connect with other people and struggle to understand more complex emotions.
It’s probable you will miss the point and be surprised by other people’s emotions.
If you are strong in this area it is likely that you will:
Understand what others feel and why, and be good at reading people.
You take the time to understand other people’s points of view and are blessed with insight into the way people think and behave.
Action
Pick the emotion a person is revealing and imagine how this mood may change during the day.
At the beginning of the day assess how YOU feel and presuppose what this may mean for you for the rest of the day.
If you feel somewhat dull, alter your state immediately.
So, begin to focus on the causes and consequences of an emotion and how it is likely to progress.
How will it affect a coaching session?
Do you have any clues about WHY you are feeling this way?
What could have led to this change in feeling?
If you are meeting with someone, determine how you would like to feel during the meeting.
Think of the beginning, middle and end of the meeting.
Also, determine how you would like the other person to feel during your meeting.
Again, consider the beginning, middle and end of the meeting.
Think of the best way for you to feel, if and when, you present a proposal.
Should there be one or more emotional shifts during this process?
Thinking this way has an immediate payoff.
Why?
Well, you will develop considerable emotional and behavioural intelligence.
And you can pass this expertise on to the people you coach.
Let’s move on to the important area of How to Manage Your Own Emotions and better manage emotional relationships with others.
If you are weak in this area it is likely that you will:
Probably get overly emotional rather often and are somewhat controlled by emotions.
This results in being overwhelmed by many situations.
If you are strong in this area it is likely that you will:
Feel your emotions but are not controlled by them and you like to solve problems in which emotions are involved.
Create considerable empathy.
You like to make things happen.
Action
Spend some time thinking about those people you seem to have a degree of difficulty with and find a way to spend time with them.
Go ahead and alter how you think, feel and behave when you are with them.
See if this makes a difference to the relationship.
Are you now finding it easier to get in rapport?
Also consider spending more time with those people you care about.
And tell them how you feel about them!
Show your emotional side – don’t just think – act!
If an Englishman can do it, so can you!
Ask yourself:
How can I manage a situation actively and directly, to achieve the best short and long-term outcome?
This question assists with developing strategies, particularly for coping in an active way, and being able to work “through” your emotions.
Further Action you can take includes:
1. Make sure your body language is in tune with your message, and regularly use varied and open-armed gestures.
2. Listen with understanding and compassion.
3. When you are in a conversation, maintain meaningful eye contact.
4. Develop the skills to express yourself on all levels and in all ways.
5. Use and pass these skills on to the people you coach.
Oh, and make sure you tell those people close to you that you care for them.