In Part Nine, we’ll take a look at some simple ways to improve your skills using your emotions to get better results.
We have said that a master coach should know how to adapt and be excellent at inducing desirable states in the people they coach.
And, quite rightly, I’m sure you want to inspire, influence, and develop the skillset of the people you coach.
It goes without saying that you want to get terrific results for your clients.
However, at times getting the best result can seem a little elusive.
When coaching clients, it is easy to feel nonplussed about why one or more sessions haven’t gone particularly well – with what you truly desired.
It may be that your own internal dialogue and habits are detrimental to what you ideally want to achieve.
So, when you feel dissatisfied with your results it is smart to take a step back, relax, and reflect on your habits.
And as you know, habits are all emotionally based.
Here’s an exercise you can attempt:
Make a list of your desirable and undesirable habits.
Take credit for your good habits.
Then take one habit that you would like to change and ask yourself these questions:
“When did the habit start?”
“What triggers the habit?”
“How does the habit make me feel?”
Then you map the actions and ask:
“Does the habit fit properly into my life right now?”
“What would be a far better habit for me than this?”
Make a decision to eliminate or replace the habit and get started on this.
Why not do it today? Then next time you are aware of the habit, stop for a moment, rewind and remind yourself what you have chosen to do instead.
Go ahead, change the behaviour, and then assess how you feel.
Pretty good, I’ll bet.
Continue this way until a new, more desirable habit has become established.
In time, you will have interrupted a pattern that is not serving you.
When you’re ready, move on to the next unwelcome habit.
By seeking to understand your own reasoning, it can build a bridge to an understanding to why you think, feel and behave in the way that you do, and how this may be affecting your results.
Pretty soon your life and results will be transformed!
A personal stocktake can work wonders!
As an aside, never be afraid or reluctant to ask for help.
If an opportunity arises, be bold and ask the person you are coaching for advice.
There is power in asking for help.
Frame an interaction with:
“I’ve got a problem and I’m wondering if you can help me with it?”.
This is powerful frame because a person will feel this puts them in a stronger position, and provides them with an opportunity to demonstrate their knowledge and ability to you.
They will feel good about having an ongoing relationship with you.
You don’t need to know everything!
Let’s face it, who doesn’t enjoy helping others?
Another useful approach is to relax at the end of the day and think through your thoughts, feelings and actions.
Keep a diary and write down some notes.
You can use this to determine your immediate agenda.
“What goals will you work on tomorrow?”
“What will you do differently tomorrow?”
“What additional resources might you need?”
I’m sure you are familiar with hearing the emotional language many people habitually use about their capabilities.
Problem thinking, negative comments and limiting beliefs can be liberally sprinkled throughout their conversation.
And they are often unaware that they are doing this.
What about you?
Stop for a moment and analyse your own thoughts.
You might discover you have fallen into the same trap when you quietly consider your own situation.
Take the time to determine whether you should alter your own internal language.
The first step to changing a belief is to change your language.
Catch yourself and immediately reframe.
Do this for the next few days.
Try these small, but game changing initiatives, to give yourself a hand in getting much improved results.
Of course, it helps enormously if you have an optimistic nature, so keep in mind that mastery is within your grasp, so why not take it!