Most of us, of course, face problems on a daily basis.
We often have a tendency to make a problem bigger than it truly is.
We disproportionately attach a meaning to a problem that is far bigger than its true value.
So, we take a sizeable problem and make it quite huge, so massive in fact that it quickly overwhelms us.
Even when dealing with smaller problems we can give them a life force they don’t really deserve.
And again we become stuck and unable to act.
Now what I’d like to invite you to do is to think of a problem in a slightly different way.
Just describe it in a different way to yourself.
So, when we think about “this problem” it really seems to be on top of you, right at you, intense, staring at you, but if you begin to think of it as “oh, that problem!” with a change of tone, it can seem to push it away.
It makes the problem smaller and easier to cope with.
You can do this with the plural of the problem.
So, rather than thinking about “these problems” you can begin to think of them as “those problems”.
It makes them far more manageable.
So, we begin to think about the process and structure of a problem rather than the content of the problem.
You can also investigate and analyse how you describe problems to yourself.
What kind of metaphors do you use to describe your problems.
Are you stuck?
Do you feel blocked?
Do you often talk about the “problem?”
Well we know every problem has a solution and usually more than one solution.
If we can free ourselves up and describe a problem according to its relative merits we can begin to think of alternatives and have more choice in dealing with them.
So, by taking this simple language construct and describing a problem in a slightly different way, it will become much more contained and keep it in the size it truly needs to be.
This will give you more choice, more possibilities, and allow you to solve the problem much more elegantly.
Also, try to refrain from saying words such as should, shouldn’t, must, musn’t, have to, need to, and so on.
They are words of necessity.
Also avoid but and because if it is followed by a negative statement.
Replace these words with words of possibility such as can, could, might and so on.
Whenever you catch yourself saying: “I can’t…” immediately pause and ask yourself:
“What prevents me? and “What stops me?”