Imagine a situation: You are in a discussion and it looks like it could evolve into a disagreement, even descend into a disagreement, and probably will lead to argument.
So when you’re faced with a challenging situation where it seems likely an emerging either-or-conflict situation will arise, what can you do?
Well, here’s a simple question you can ask using emotional intelligence to overcome such difficulties.
So, what should you do when you find yourself engaging in a discussion that really becomes more heated than it truly merits, and ultimately bears all the hallmarks of conflict?
Well, for any agreement to be reached it often requires that most difficult of all actions – listening, and listening with care.
If a problem can be seen as a shared problem it’s much easier to solve.
And real breakthroughs in arguments happen when a problem can be transformed into something that can be reframed, mutually reframed.
But what happens?
Well, emotion gets in the way.
Once an emotional outburst occurs and the prospect of a resolution, well, it gets trampled on.
Here’s a suggestion:
When any kind of emotional response is heard, just pause for a few moments and ask:
“What’s your concern?”
And ask with the right tonality, conciliatory if possible.
The reply once heard can lead to a breakthrough.
Well, it makes both parties stop and think because information is being sought.
The shared problem has a much better chance of being accepted and understood if mutual interest, the mutual benefit is recognized.
“I win, you lose.”
“You win, I lost.”
Let’s face it, this kind of attitude gets you nowhere.
Compromise is useful, but how about reframing a problem, so that a resolution can be found that not only solves the problem, but goes way beyond the self-imposed boundaries of the problem?
Keep in mind you can solve problems using simple emotional intelligence type techniques.
Remember, you have many faces, many skills, many talents, many choices, and some wonderful attributes.
Why not put it all to use to help solve problems in the best mutually beneficial way which gets you a win-win outcome every time?
It’s getting a bit dark here now.
It’s such a lovely winter’s day in Melbourne.
The sound of the water is really lovely, people are leaving, and the fishermen are coming out.
So might be the time to say cheerio.
I hope you can see me!
It’s a little bit dark!
So, until next time, take care, cheerio for now.