I’m sure you have walked away from a meeting believing everything had gone well only to be disappointed when what you thought would happen failed to materialise.
Consciously accepting, literally, the words people use at times can count for absolutely nothing.
Welcome to Part Four on how to use nonverbal communication to get excellent results.
In the previous part I discussed the importance of making a good, no great, first impression.
I also indicated the kind of attributes that will draw people to you.
However, projecting a positive, pleasing, warm and vibrant personality may not be enough.
Now, the quality of life can depend upon the quality of your questions.
So, during a conversation that matters backtrack and do a continual review.
What kind of impression am I making?
Should I believe what I am being told?
Will something come from this meeting or am I wasting my time?
What is their body language revealing?
But how can you be expected to know the answer to any of these questions in a given moment?
Well, the answers are staring you in the face, right before your eyes.
Being mindful that even the tiniest gesture can be a game changer is the difference that makes the difference to a clearer understanding of a person’s intent.
This information is often underplayed, understated and, oh so subtle, that you can miss a signal that matters in a heartbeat.
But it will be there.
It always is.
It is missed regularly because we are so preoccupied preparing what we want to say.
If a person is not convinced enough to buy your product, or the service you are selling, or what you are communicating, at some point they will nonverbally, probably unintentionally send this message.
The message comes in and goes out in the blink of an eye and can remain undetected.
The old brain sees it – the new brain, the big brain, is far too busy.
Get it out of the way!
Watch and listen.
Once you become an expert, a keen observer, in reading bodily movements, eye movements, facial expressions, throwaway gestures, contradictory messages, the nonverbal secrets, you will never miss a trick, never miss the message it pays to recognise.
Conversely, you will only send the right signal, at the right time, to strengthen rapport and build trust.
When your feelings, your feelings, are in perfect lockstep, perfect alignment with what you are saying, then you will come across as authentic, believable and likeable.
So, let’s move on to the kind of signals a person will reveal to you unconsciously that need to be read correctly so you will know exactly what is intended.
Here’s a challenge for you during the next few days.
Experiment with this exercise.
During a conversation do the following:
Match and mirror the person and dovetail your movements to theirs.
Include breathing, tone, gestures, expressions, key words and so on.
Do this outside of awareness.
Face them directly. No sideways turn at all.
Go ahead and make eye contact for longer than you normally might.
No scanning the environment at all.
Solely use palm up gestures to demonstrate openness and honesty.
Nod your head from time to time to show how agreeable you are.
Get rid of any barriers between you and the person.
Remove any clutter.
Now you can take each of these activities and reverse them to see the impact they can have.
Dogmatically refuse to match and mirror.
Partly turn away from a person when they speak.
Scan the environment occasionally when they are talking.
Put your hands behind your back, or show the back of your hands.
Shake your head gently when they are seeking any form of agreement.
Put the Grand Canyon between you and the person!
And notice the results.
Then get back to the positive activities quick smart!
Keep practicing this until you are unconsciously competent in each of these areas.
The ability to read and send the right signals is an enormous asset.
Keep in mind you have many faces, let’s put them and get an immediate advantage by adopting powerful nonverbal communication.
Then enjoy watching a positive difference to your bottom line. Cheerio for now.